Right now I am in the middle of my week end.
What would make it perfect?
That question had me so stumped that I am now 2 days behind in the writing challenge.
Because I focused so much on my mission that I forgot for a moment about me. Yes, the founder of the ME First Revolution was not practising what she preached!
I looked around my house and all I could see was work. I picked up my computer and all I could see was work.
In trying to describe my perfect week end all I could see was “how can I escape”.
So, this morning (Sunday), after waking up with a thumping headache and still getting on a call and teaching a class I went back to bed. My headache most likely a result of over extending myself yesterday in really hot weather standing 5 hours at our Peace Festival. Again, showing up when others didn’t.
Again, putting myself after the “greater good”.
That last sentence may sound strange. Surely it is good to put the greater good first? RIGHT?
How can it be good if it results in your own destruction?
Allah sent me this pain to tell me something. You’ve gone off track again. You are letting life take charge of you again. Youi are not in the driver’s seat anymore.
I lay there with my headache and reflected. There was a pile of towels fresh off the line at the end of the bed. Where was I going to put them, the linen cupboard was full of all the “hand me downs” others had generously sent my way?
Then I realised something.
My house was full of stuff I didn’t need. All this stuff was cluttering me out and making it hard for me to manage and keep the place tidy.
Then I asked myself how did it get this way?
I realised that for a very long-time people had been giving me their old stuff. It has always been a struggle financially and so I was always grateful for their generosity. I had kept accepting and accepting their gifts. Then I realised something today.
A true gift is something that a person really wants and needs. Most of the things I received were because others didn’t want it anymore. Most of the stuff wasn’t useful to me and has actually been making it harder for me rather than better. And I reflected on the things I had been given and who had given them and I could imagine their story behind why they sent them to me.
It made them feel good.
They didn’t want to say goodbye to “stuff” so by giving it to someone they knew it was like they still had it.
It was quite interesting how my sudden desire to empty the linen cupboard and get everything out so the towels could fit in resulted in my headache dissipating.
As I filled bag after bag with linen, beautiful linen, that I had never used, nor would ever use, I felt a relief that I was clearing out my space. I noticed something interesting. As I put back in the cupboard what I wanted to keep, most of it was what I had bought for myself.
Suddenly I saw before me all the places in my life where I still needed to step. Suddenly I knew the answers to many problems that have been stressing me these last weeks.
All because I realised I wanted to choose the linen we had, not be loaded with everyone’s leftovers.
So now, I am able to write about my perfect weekend and catch up on the days I am behind in this challenge.
And my perfect week end isn’t an escape to a deserted island. It is having insight that will help me move forward more powerfully and wisely. For myself, my children and those whose lives I touch.