Welcome to the Beautiful Muslimah Project, and I’m Kathryn Jones, your host. I'm super excited to have you here today; we’re going to talk about FAILURE. We often feel like what we’ve done is a failure, that we've made this big mistake. It might be in relationships, it might be in our career, it might be in many of the different things that we have going on in our life.
I would like to challenge this concept of there even being such a thing as a failure. A failure really is only if you twist on its head an opportunity to learn something better -- an opportunity to actually look at how to step up, how to do things differently. It’s really just an indication that this is an area to work on. It’s not a failure; it’s a lesson, it’s an opportunity, and it’s incredibly hopeful.
Because the reality is, haven’t you noticed that we make more progress, we learn more lessons from our mistakes than we do from our active learning? Maybe it’s the pain we feel in the moment when we stuff up, whatever it is -- making mistakes -- failing often is the greatest turning point in our life.
So if you’re walking around thinking, “I’m a total failure,” because of this, this, this and this. Firstly, I want you to look at it differently. I want you to look at it and go, "Hang on for a minute; if there’s no such thing as failure, what is the lesson or where is it I can step up or what is this telling me? What opportunity is coming from this that I’m not seeing?" When you reframe it like that, it makes so much difference. Just psychologically, the impact is huge because instead of having a negative impact like, “Oh my God, I’m a failure!” the impact is, “Wow! Our Lord is sending me a lesson. There’s something for me to gain out of this. I can grow out of this, there’s an opportunity in this, this is something so hopeful, so positive, so inspiring.”
Some of the worst things that happened to me and being the biggest turn point in my life, that have been the reason that I stand before you today, very strong, resilient and confident despite of what I’ve been through. There were lessons rather than failures.
Sure, I failed an exam at Uni; I failed an exam in Uni because I made a bad choice. I’ll tell you what that choice was. I failed in Chemistry; it was the only time in my life I ever failed, and I’m not saying that to brag. My success in my education came from not a healthy place. I came from a place of great hurt that I immersed myself in studies to block out the hurt. So it’s nothing to be proud of, but I want to tell you one exam I failed. I hated Chemistry. Why do I hate Chemistry? I hated Chemistry because I had a Math teacher who didn’t believe girls belonged in Science; and all I did was Science, Math and Science, that was my field. So I had this thing about Chemistry, so I didn’t study. I crammed the night before and guess what? Because I didn’t have sleep, I ended up with a migraine halfway through the exam. Did I go to the front and say to them, “Hey, I got a migraine, I can’t read the papers anymore cause my vision has gone funny,” and get the opportunity to reset the exam? NO! I just walked out. Why? Because it’s Chemistry, because I allowed the words of that teacher to sink in.
What was the lesson in that? Well, the lesson in that was on my transcript for Uni from this day forth, forever. There is this Chemistry Day and it was because I didn’t speak up. It was because I didn’t stand up for myself. I tell you right now, today that wouldn’t happen. I would stand up for myself, I would make sure that I had another opportunity; I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.
So look at your life and if you’re feeling a failure in any element of it, look for the lesson. Look for the opportunity, look for where you can grow and I’d love you to share below what you say, where can you grow? What preserved failures have you now just turned around into a lesson and into an opportunity? Share it with me, I want read your comments, let me know.
Looking forward to connecting with you and hearing more from you and inshallah! We’ll see you again next week for the next episode of The Beautiful Muslimah Project.